Regardless of whether you’re currently a student at or an alum of East Brunswick High School, there are too many things about going to EBHS that students from neighboring towns simply can’t understand, despite living in the same state! Here are 15 signs you definitely go/went to EBHS.
1. “I’m a high schooler, but I’m just… I don’t go to the high school.”
The struggle of having to explain to a non-EB kid that you’re stuck at Churchill Junior High School until sophomore year rolls around is probably the biggest pain in the butt, but having to explain it ten times to the same person..? Goodbye.
2. Eagerly awaiting Dr. Valeski’s phone calls, not only due to the possibility of a snow day, but also because his anecdotes are the greatest.
Oh, does the superintendent of public schools in your district formally introduce him/herself and immediately inform you of the upcoming snowstorm? Well, that’s just not the EB way. A snow day call is not a snow day call without Dr. V’s clever and humorous introductions. Perhaps you’d be interested in his new invention: Snorts – the snow shorts made specially for New Jersey’s typically volatile weather.
3. “Make sure you check out the pool on the third floor.”
“Yes….we totally have a third floor!” The poor sophomores…
4. The wifi is a thing that just isn’t a thing.
Oh… so we just log in with our school login, right? Oh… so the wifi just works when it wants to? Oh and there’s no service near any of the damn exits, areas where one would assume a student would need service most? Okay, that’s perfectly fine.
5. The vending machines and the 3pm rule? NOOO.
Ah yes, we all know the sight. A naive, hungry sophomore ventures off to the vending machines near the gym so as to not disturb the folks lunching in the cafeteria. He reaches into his pocket and inserts quarters into the vending machine before he chooses… nope. The vending machines don’t work until 3pm. Better find a way to sneak into the cafeteria :///
6. Fitness Days are the ABSOLUTE WORST.
NEVER has a half-mile jog felt so long in your entire life. Therefore, we all resort to praying that Fitness Day lands on our lab day during the week but of course, it never does.
7. The “Mold” Effect.
At some point over the three years at EBHS, every student comes across that one B Hall teacher that is simply convinced that there is mold in the walls and students are getting sick. Easy way to get out of class? Claim you have a headache from “that strange smell.”
8. Going to Brunswick Square Mall on Friday evenings is absolute hell.
EB mall rats are EBHS students’ greatest nightmare. Whether you’re dropping by to pick up a few nice outfits or to grab a quick bit for dinner at Panera, we all know you’re bound to see the loud packs of pesky middle-schoolers invading the area. Cue eye-roll.
9. Wawa. Just Wawa.
Going to the beach on this particularly sunny day? Wawa. Famished after (barely) making it through the school day? Wawa. Got the munchies at 1am and just have to have a perfectly-cooked panini? WAWA. Synonym for Wawa: Heaven. From the legendary F’Real milkshakes and giant chocolate chip cookies to the various coffee options and to-die-for hoagies, this place has it all. One trip is all it takes to be certain that only divine intervention could have procured such an establishment.
10. Similarly, BRUNSWICK BAGELS.
Brunswick Bagels is indubitably the GREATEST bagel shop of all time. Every East Brunswick resident knows that of all the bagel shops there are in New Jersey (and there are MANY), Brunswick Bagels is the most convenient, cheap, and amazing bagel shop.
11. The temperature rises to a mere 50°F and the whole school rushes to Milltown Ice Cream Depot.
Let’s be honest… There’s no better ice cream place near us than Milltown Ice Cream Depot. If it’s open and if it’s not snowing, we’ll be there.
12. When the “senior privileges” just disappear…
YES, there was a froyo machine a couple years ago… YES, there was a special senior lunch line… and YES… it’s all gone. 🙁
13. We are the one school in the area that doesn’t get in on the graduation fun.
Why do we have to receive our graduation caps on the day of graduation just so that we can’t decorate them!? Sure, I was definitely going to decorate the ONE high school cap I will ever receive and take pictures with with something profane and disrespectful. UGH.
14. “Parking privileges are for seniors”… sure.
Who hasn’t witnessed at least one underclassman’s car getting trashed because he/she decided to park in the senior lot? We all know the parts of the range – there’s the range itself, then the parking lot at the bottom of the range, and then the parking lot and the bottom bottom of the range. We also know that coming in five minutes before the bell rings (or coming in for late-in) means you’ll be parking at the bottom bottom of the range. They just don’t get it until they’re seniors. **Sigh…
15. We hope that we can come back for Alumni Day.
We know the truth… as much as we complain about EBHS being the preppy public school and going to school in general, nothing would make us happier than a chance to come back, meet old teachers, and talk to the seniors at school. We all know that East Brunswick has one of the greatest school districts in the state and country, and that it would be an honor to be an EBHS alumnus 🙂