I remember during my freshman orientation in Walsh Gym, the Dean of Arts & Sciences said “You will find your best friend for life and your soulmate.” That was almost two years ago. I found my best friend- but in regards to the “soulmate” part, the kid is still single. Do I walk around campus searching for my soulmate? (Maybe, maybe not). As a freshman, the dating scene is new and refreshing, but can also be scary and heartbreaking. Here are some tips that I would like to share with you about the dating truths you wish you knew before your freshman year!
1. It’s Not Going To Happen Overnight.
Just like writing a ten-page paper, you need to put in the time, energy and research. He may be your type and y’all might have a vibe, but it may be a hookup vibe. Be proud of the fact that you got his number or a follow back on Instagram but don’t expect your situationship (people that are messing around- but are not in a relationship- but are more then a hookup) to turn into an exclusive relationship. As ladies, we tend to create scenarios in our head about how events will play out especially with men we like. To prevent that scenario from becoming a deleted scene, create a scenario of you guys being friends first. Get to know each other, go on dates, hang out with friends, etc. and then who knows, he will either be the one for you or you’ll just have another friend in your life.
2. It’s Your World, We’re Just Living In It.
Take your time when it comes to dating. You could procrastinate if you wanted to. Just because you have a man in your life doesn’t mean you have to be with him. Make sure you are doing well academically and if you have the time in your schedule to be dating. Freshman year is when you want to participate in as many clubs, join sororities and/or find a job. Dating and having a boyfriend is like taking on a second job. And when the right guys comes along, you’ll feel it and then you will be happy that you waited.
3. Have Sex When You’re Ready and Willing.
Having sex the first night or after the fifteenth date will not determine the relationship. He will stay or leave depending on the chemistry and feelings he has for you, not because you gave it up too early or “too late.” And the dorm room should not be the location of your first date. Too many girls, including myself have been tricked into the “come to my room later on tonight,” and then when you get there, “why you sitting all the way over there” or “no outside clothes on my bed.” If he wants to spend some quality time with you at night, go to the library or the cove. The dorm room date turns into Netflix & Chill, and that turns into something that you didn’t want to happen at that time. Let him know upfront what you want, especially if sex isn’t on the agenda until you are sure that he is the one you want to be sexually active with.
4. Make Sure Y’all Are On the Same Page or Even the Same Chapter.
The last thing you want to happen is you think y’all are exclusive but he still thinks he is single. Don’t let him have you out here looking stupid. You are doing girlfriend activities for someone who only sees you as a hookup or y’all aren’t there yet. Make sure you have a talk with him, and make sure what you want, and what he wants, matches up. You don’t want to brag about how much of a good guy he is (which he still could be) and then you see him out with someone else or you hear about him being with other women. Play your game sis, the ball is in your court.
5. Keep Your Options Open, You Never Know …
Keep your options open girl. The man for you could be your college best friend, or the kid you think is goofy in one of your classes. Don’t limit yourself, branch out and meet new people. You never know, just like Khadijah, she found love with her best friend Scooter. I am not saying give every guy a chance, but as freshman, we come in with our ideal guy in our head. We may find some potential candidates, but the one who makes you smile, feel good, and supports you may not be the one you thought you’d be with. Give that guy a chance, if it’s meant to be, it will happen.
Are there any more dating truths you wish you knew before heading off to college? Share in the comments below!
*This is a sponsored post. All opinions are my own.
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Hi, my name is Jayda S. Yizar and I am currently a sophomore at Seton Hall University. I am a Social & Behavorial Science major and a Sociology & Africana Studies minor. I am also the president of the Imani Chapter of the National Council of Negro Women, and a manager for the Women's Basketball team. I am from Westchester, NY & yes I am a Knicks fan (get you a me, I'm loyal). I am deeply in love with Paul George, the color black and Ford Mustangs. I enjoy writing just as much as I enjoy sleeping and eating. Follow me on twitter, snapchat & instagram @PrincessJGeorge 💛✨