Ever hookup with someone and swore it would never happen again? Ever hook up with that person and someone new all in one week? Here is my unconventional confessions of being a one night stander and what I learned along the way.
The first time it happened I had just turned twenty-two. My best friend had come up from her hometown for the weekend and we decided that since the summer was ending why not go to a party? When we got there the entire apartment was packed, with music and bodies pressed against each other we somehow made our way to the dance floor. Looking around I could see a cute guy to the side, chilling with his friends. My friend kept encouraging me to go talk to him, but I had high anxiety about the entire thing. Questions ran through my head.
Like what if he doesn’t like me? Do I even know how to flirt?
Finally, after two cups of Hennessey I decided enough was enough. When was I ever going to shoot my shot? I was twenty-two now, it was time for a change. So fast-forward a couple hours later and your girl secured her first ever one-night stand. In the morning I felt weird about leaving, because I had never done this before. Did I leave a note? Did I text him? Did I stay? Once I made my way outside the guilt started to fade away, and honestly it felt pretty nice.
Here is the thing about being a girl in college and hooking up.
You always feel like people are going to judge you for it the next day. This mentality that females are sexual beings too sometimes gets lost in translation. I have seen it in a lot of conversations I have had with male friends. One time a guy friend told me that if a female had a lower body count then she was wife material.
Honestly, if that is the societal mindset when it comes to picking girls to marry then please go to the edge of the ship and kindly jump off it.
I decide who and when I want to hook up with someone. If people don’t like it, then they can mind their business. A woman doesn’t need to explain herself to anyone. Her choices are hers and hers alone. Labeling a woman as a slut, or the classic hoe doesn’t work anymore. The reason?
We have changed so much as each generation cycles through, and with apps like bumble and tinder we have hyped up the hooking up culture.
People are no longer looking for just relationships today. I will admit that I am far too busy with work, and school to even think about dating anyone at this point. Being able to go the bar, or even on apps with it being super casual honestly takes the pressure off. If the night ends right, then I might even go home with someone.
Here is some advice though.
Not everyone has too hook up with someone. If your friends are pressuring you into a situation that you don’t want to be involved in, it is 100 percent okay to say no. You don’t have to do it because everyone else is. You know yourself better then anyone else. If casual sex doesn’t sound good to you, then proceed to just dance with the ladies and forget the boys for the night.
Sex is a wonderful thing that shouldn’t be limited to or denied to anyone. Girls or guys should be able to go and have fun with whoever they want. There might be some awkward moments because this person is literally a stranger, but that is what makes it fun too sometimes. You get to feel open to new experiences, and take a chance.