Parting ways with the love of your life (or at least who you thought was the love of your life) is a tough challenge for anyone. But it can be even more unbearable if you do some weird foolish things. Here are 7 mistakes you can make that will stop you from finding internal peace and happiness after a break-up.
1. Continue Seeing Them
This is high-key an obvious mistake but your brain masks it out. Let me guess what your excuse is… “We are just hanging out as friends”? Sure. And here you are having dinner together or going to post-cinema drinks. What’s next? Netflix and chill? The more you see your ex, the more emotionally attached you get – and that’s not what you need after a break-up!
At times when you think of the times you’ve spent together, they’re not always the best memories. Stuff happens. But when you think of your past lover negatively all the time, it may gradually get materialized and affect your present-self. Love and hate are two extremes, two sides of one coin. And all you really need is some neutral attitude and respect. Besides, the more you ponder about your past relationships, the higher the chance you would want them to get back into your life.
3. Return their belongings
Don’t get me wrong, you should get the stuff back to the owner. BUT, don’t do it in person. It just seems like another stupid excuse to meet up. Simply ask your friends or contact your local courier service. Although, let’s be fair: you don’t have to keep or return their old toothbrush or their favorite cotton towel.
4. What If
It is kind of similar to the “overthinking” part but this time you are taking it further to the extent that all the reassurance you had about your break-up just goes down the drain. Again and again, you continue to focus on the ex-partner and torment yourself with groundless illusions and heart-breaking memories. What if he comes back? What if I revise my definition of cheating? What if I call him now? Girl, no! What if no?!
5. Hooking-up With a Stranger
Unless you are mentally prepared to welcome another person in your life or you genuinely want to have fun, jumping from one relationship to another (even if it’s polygamous) is a no-no! In your case, revenge sex is not the answer (frankly speaking, it’s never the answer). It is also a great way to recall how much fun you had with your ex-lover. Do you really need this right now? I think not!
6. Chase Them
Yes, I am talking about the literal, James Bond-like prosecution when you are somehow, by hook or by crook, investigate their situation and choose the right time to “accidentally” bump into them at a bar. Seems quite ridiculous when you start thinking about it. It is also a red flag if you are constantly stalking him on social media. Social media is delusional: the fact that someone is posting drunk pictures from parties does not mean that they are happy; it’s probably quite the opposite. A little tip: get yourself on a technology-free cleanse and delete all the social media apps from your phone. You will feel much better!
7. Wallowing in Sorrow
Babe, he’s not the last person on this planet. Look around – there are so many nice, kind, caring people around you! I know, at first, the pain is so unbearable that it’s hard to endure it. But if you lose hope in love, what else is there to live for? In the words of RuPaul, if you don’t love yourself, how the hell you gonna love somebody else?