How did these lines make the final cut? Romance movies are full of cringe worthy quotes that either miss the mark or bathe in their cheesiness. Without further ado, here are the ten cheesiest movie lines for this Valentines Day.
1. “Love means never having to say you’re sorry.”
Not to mention how cheesy this line is, it’s also incredibly untrue. Love means constant self-improvement. It means constant remorse even for the most trifling slip ups. But if nothing else, this line does encapsulate the movie. Really all of Love Story is a cliched, idealized depiction of a relationship that doesn’t exist. We’ve seen the story before many times. Two people from different social classes boldly subvert society by falling in love. And throughout the story, they break every impediment to love, including a remorseless girlfriend.
2. “I’m also just a girl standing in front of a boy asking him to love her.”
Okay…well, thanks for those pearls of wisdom, captain obvious. But how do you think you’re going to accomplish that with lines like this? I may give the writer the benefit of the doubt and assume that he was trying to stray from the traditional male role of pursuer. That being said, the execution was at best poor and at worst career ending. Fortunately, Julia Roberts is a fantastic actress who has gone on to nail other roles. I think her performance in August Osage County is her best performance to date and should have earned her the Oscar. But Oscar snubs are a whole other tangent, and my space is unfortunately finite.
3. “Our love is like the wind.”
The writer surely stole this cheesy movie line from a middle schooler. There’s something about similes in romances that you should avoid at all costs. For whatever reason, people seem to have a proclivity to compare their love to aspects of nature. The comparison is so overused at this point that the simile has to be particularly creative. Needless to say, this line falls short. Teenage girls may post it on their walls, but Shakespeare is rolling in his grave.
4. “I’m not letting go. I can’t. I love you too damn much.”
Action movies always have to throw in some undeveloped romance in between fight scenes. To be honest, I’ve only seen the first Matrix, and I assume the sequel is more of the same. That is, I assume it’s full of poor acting and pseudo-philosophy. The Matrix is a bombastic action film in the guise of some amorphous ode to Plato, and in addition to all the unnecessary action, the writer decided to throw in a sappy movie line. Because why not? I’ve come to expect it really.
5. “Is it still raining? I hadn’t noticed.”
Such a cheesy movie line should have been phrased as a joke. But with the dramatic music in the background, I assume the writers were going for emotional as opposed to laughable. At least they nailed the latter I guess. Paired with the robotic delivery, this scene is uncomfortable to watch. Still, of all the cheesy movie lines on this list, this one is probably the least cringe worthy, which is saying something.
6. “But mostly I hate the way I don’t hate you. Not even close. Not even a little bit. Not even at all.”
No teenage girl would ever confess her love for a boy in class. But to be fair, Kat Stratford isn’t the typical teenage girl. She’s a precocious snob with preternatural intelligence. Definitely a realistic characterization of a teenager. Not a caricature at all….The relationship begins with contempt and quickly shifts to undying love, another romantic comedy trope. At least the tearful confession of her undying love is realistic, right?
7. “It wasn’t over. It still isn’t over.”
I’m sure women were swooning over this forcefully delivered line. Once again, two star crossed lovers reconnect in a beautiful, serendipitous moment…or at least that’s what the writers were going for, and the audience is expected to roar with applause. The quintessential model/poor boy has aggressively won the girl despite all impediments, and they eat each others faces as the rain pours down. No scene in the history of film is more cliched than that. But somehow the Notebook stands out as the ultimate chick flick.
8. “About three things I was absolutely certain. First, Edward was a vampire. Second, there was part of him–and I didn’t know how dominant that part might be– that thirsted for my blood. And third, I was unconditionally and irrevocably in love with him.”
Twilight is one of the most ridiculous movies of all time. I’m sure this is a controversial statement: but I never thought the acting was that bad. Based on the material, Robert Pattinson actually plays the pantomime teen heart throb, Edward, fairly well. It’s the script that plagues the movie. Perhaps this line is more ridiculous in retrospect, given how popular the vampire romance would become. However, the concept of conflating vampires, romances, and teen heart throbs is still an absurd shit show. And this line encompasses the absurdity in four glorious sentences.
9. “You complete me.”
Oh yes, the king of all cheesy movie lines. This line paired with Tom Cruise’ overacting nearly ruins Jerry Maguire. What precedes is a monologue about cynicism and tough business competitors. Cruise concludes his speech with this cheesy line, and we’re left wondering what the hell he was trying to say. Was he saying that competition in the business world isolates us? How does that translate to your love life? I’m so confused. Despite the nebulous wording and the overacting, Tom Cruise and Renee Zellweger are good actors. They were just working with shitty material.
10. “You had me at hello.”
As if the scene couldn’t get any cheesier, we end our list with the response to the penultimate line. As cliched as it sounds, life is not a romantic comedy. Love at first sight does not exist. The hotty you’ve been dreaming about for ages isn’t going to swoon when you say hello. They’ll just say hello back, and most likely nothing will ever come of it. Ninety-nine percent of infatuations are unrequited. Look it up. Also, why the fuck are they both crying? Seems to me they’re just showing off their acting prowess.