With the end of the school year slowly approaching we start to reminisce the good ol’ days of High School and the end of a series of unfortunate events that may have taken place over the course of four undeniable years. High School Prom was meant to be a celebration of what was supposed to be the greatest four years of our lives. Well, it was a celebration alright, but maybe not the kind of celebration it was created to be. In other words, prom was a little mediocre, and here are 10 things I do not miss about it.
1. Getting A Dress Five Months In Advance
We’re all about smart shopping, but putting that much effort into a dress you’ll literally be wearing for one night, changing out of in a few hours to go to the after party, and eventually selling it off when you become a broke college student- is it really worth all that trouble? I never did understand girls that invested so much time and money on getting their High School Prom dress months before the actual date. I mean…don’t you have getting into university to worry about?
2. Prom-posing…It’s Really Not That Fun
Okay, let’s just take a second to honestly admit that no one liked those prom-posals. Filled with flowers and corny signs that no one really understood but pretended to laugh along to anyway, making a so called “romantic” public scene and expecting the “proposed” to say yes; SO CUTE. Sounds like nothing but a lot of pressure to me. And can we talk about the lack of originality in these prom-posals? Talk to me when you come up with something other than a cheesy pun, rose petals and a possy with “prom?” written across their chests.
3. Seeing Two Hundred Other (Un-creative) Prom-posals
After watching two hundred versions of the same prom-posal for the same High School Prom, for at least four months straight, you start to get a little tired of it. Speaking from personal experience, at one point I actually started getting scared that someone was going to pop up out of nowhere with a marching band and a heart shaped pizza, and I was going to have to witness this whole charade all over again. Give a girl a break!
4. Buying A Ticket For Your Date
This part of High School Prom always seems to cause drama, but then again, what else is High School, if not drama. Is the boy going to buy the ticket for the girl because he’s a gentleman, or will the girl take lead this time because it’s 2019? What if you’re too broke to pay for an extra ticket but you can’t get away from this one because your date is coming from another school? The real question is, is a night full of inedible food in a crammed banquet hall with people you will probably never see again, and dancing the sorrows of the past four years away while your teachers pretend not to know that you’re “under the influence,” really worth all that trouble?
5. Pre-Prom With The Parents And Their Picture-Taking Obsession
The Pre-Prom Party of a High School prom, in the nicest way possible, is an actual waste of time. Why did I get ready two hours in advance just to take pictures with a guy who is capable of thinking a corny sign is going to getting a “yes” out of me, just to have my makeup all worn out for the actual event anyway? And more importantly, what are my parents here gushing over how good we look together…this isn’t our wedding day!
6. The Getting To The Venue Part
Apparently, if you haven’t taken a limo to your High School Prom you haven’t done it right. I would like to differ and mention that for one, limo drivers probably hate you and I’m not ready to make any enemies. Secondly, I am also not willing to be swarmed by a herd of drunken kids in a car, no matter how spacious it is. And most of all, I for sure would not enjoy drinking champagne with them, with the risk of it slipping and falling all over someone’s dress. My clumsy hands cannot handle such pressure.
7. The “Divine Cuisine”
I’m sure everyone can agree that I am not the only one that thought the chicken parmesan was dry and unflavoured, and the only decently edible part of the meal was the dessert. Honestly, after paying over $100 for cold chicken and dry pasta, I feel like I’ve been click baited.
8. Those Condescending Awards
This was probably my least favourite part of High School Prom. I mean, is it really necessary to award the select few students that demonstrated some sort of understanding for social cues and completely neglect the one’s that just didn’t want to be under the spotlight? Not everyone had the time or energy to publicly display their relationship (the best couple), constantly make jokes in class (class clown), or get straight A’s (future president).
9. The Actual “Prom” Part Itself
Yes, I said it. I don’t miss the actual prom part at all. Frankly, it really is not that special, rather, very overrated and mediocre. As far as I remember, all I did was stand in line to get in for about twenty minutes, as my 6 inch heels continued to making my life hell. I then proceeded to eating dry chicken, dancing and taking pictures with people I knew I wouldn’t even consider speaking to from here on, and pretending to be completely sober in front of my poor teachers.
10. And Whatever Happens After…
On a final note, the least missed part of my High School Prom was the after party. Whether you ended up just chilling with your friends in a basement with a few beers and some food to make up for that horrendous dinner, decided to follow the crowd into a frat party that got shut down twenty minutes in, or ended up in the other end of the city with a crackhead drug dealer, I’m sure you do not want to go back to that moment, just as much as me.