Keep reading for 10 signs you’re an English Major at the University of Toronto!
1. You choose words over numbers any day.
You often wonder why the last requirement for the major program is a Digital Text class when you clearly enjoy reading physical books. And why the alternative to that is a Statistics course or any course in the “Physical and Mathematical Universe” of Breadth 5. Don’t they know we’re English majors because numbers scare us?
2. You’ve got speedy eyes for life.
In first year, your eyes couldn’t keep up with the amount of words that Alexander Pope had to offer. Now going into 4th year, your fingers can’t thumb through the pages quickly enough, leaving your word-hungry eyes hanging on the last word of the page for an extra second longer.
3. Your first thought when counting English credits was, “Why is ENG100 worth nothing?!!”
In first year you definitely did not plan on the most obvious English course going to waste! There goes another credit down the drain, along with that Stats mark you were forced to take.
4. You can now solve all the world’s mysteries.
You are now the absolute BEST person to go to when someone needs to overanalyze a situation. Why is the curtain green? Why did my dog bark 3 times this morning and not 4? What does it mean when my date wears a black top on the first date versus a yellow?
….or maybe the professor is WAY overthinking things….
5. Books broke your back.
You thought you’d be spending days on the field of King’s College Circle, or on a bench in Queen’s Park relaxing and reading one of the many books assigned that week. Instead you got stuck lugging round one of the many Norton Anthology bibles. After carrying that extra 20 pounds around all semester, you actually realize your pockets are now lighter (goodbye $$), your back is broken, and you’ve successfully read a total of 6 pages in the entire Anthology. Thanks UofT!
6. What is writer’s block?
You’ve learned to write half of your essay in your head the moment the Professor hands out the paper with them listed. You’ve got quotes – maybe even page numbers – main topics and an intro already planned out. Writing a 12-page essay the night before is not even procrastination to you; it’s your way of life. Being an English Major has crafted your essay skills to be that of the speed of light.
7. So long, Scantrons!
Us English Majors don’t fool around with our exams. Coloring in bubbles for 3 hours? Try writing your entire heart and soul out for that period of time! Your hands will never be the same after an intense 2-3 hour essay-writing exam. Book yourself a good manicurist for those English Major paws… you’ll need it!
8. “So…do you want to be a teacher?”
‘Nuff said. Praise us for our essay writing/editing skills, but tell us there’s basically only one career path for us! Not all of us want to teach. Seriously people, we have other options!
9. A novel a week is how you keep track of the days.
When the professor casually throws in the fact that you’ve got to read over 25 books in the whole semester. Then asks at the beginning of every lecture if everyone got a chance to read the novel assigned for that week?
Yes, no problem, we can read a book a week, write a paper on it a month later and then recall all of the themes, characters, and who had the affair with who on the final exam. Piece of cake!
10. You know not to insult Northrop Frye.
When his statue went up near Victoria College, every English Prof made sure to share the news with their students. I remember my first year Professor did not stop talking about his contribution to literary studies at UofT. After all, he is every English Profs hero.
Being an English Major is not the simplest title to uphold, but as long as our love for physical books and literature lives on, so will we! Keep your heads high fellow English Majors. If you ever feel like you’ve made the wrong choice in majors, go visit Northrop, sit on the bench with him, read some Swift or Pope and know that being and English Major is an absolute joy… once those hand sores heal!