Fellas, break ups can’t hurt a lot. They can mess up your entire world and leave you not knowing what to say or do next. So how can we get past a devastating breakup? Well, that’s what this article is, break up advice for guys from a regular guy whose been there too.
The very first thing I would tell any guy that is struggling after a break up is that his feelings are completely normal. Break ups hurt, so you shouldn’t feel alone in your heartache to that extent. You most definitely are not alone, you are lonely, which is temporary even if you think it is not.
Let It Out
As guys, sometimes we have this weird complex where we feel like we have to hold in our emotions or we can not be sad after a breakup. This is incredibly wrong. Letting your emotions run free is necessary for proper healing after a breakup. No, I am not saying you need to share your entire life with everyone who will listen. I am saying though if you are alone in your room and feel like you need to cry, then cry! The longer you ignore your feelings, the more prominent the issues will seem in your life, and it’s better to deal with how you feel now then it is to let it build inside you.
Ask Yourself Why
I found it helpful in the long run to identify the reasons why the break up occurred. This does not mean to play the what-if game, and question how every little thing equated to your break up. Instead, realize the overall reasons for the breakup and face them head-on. Dwelling on these reasons might make you even more emotional, but it’s good to face the issues that lead to the breakup. It can help teach you what you want in a relationship, and perhaps things you can do better with the next person.
Isolation: Good and Bad
If you need time to yourself, take it! Let your friends know that you need some alone time to process everything that happened, I guarantee they will understand. However, do not do as I did and completely isolate yourself from everyone. I spent literal months not going out or talking to friends after my break up. In hindsight, I hate thinking about all the wasted months I spent sulking in my room. I was too afraid to open up to my friends though, so I chose to suffer alone. That’s why I plead with you that if you have friends who you feel will be there for you, and you are ready, then ask if you can rant to them about it and get stuff off your chest. If you aren’t the type that can talk to your friends like that, that’s fine too, I would still suggest ranting out loud though. You’ll be shocked to see just how relieving it is to say it out loud.
Anger is natural in the healing process, but while it is normal we should know how to handle ourselves properly. For example, you don’t want to be that guy who blasts your ex on social media. Not only is that extra bummy, but it also might go hand in hand with why the breakup happened in the first place. If you don’t like the person enough to respect them even after they’re gone, you didn’t deserve them in the first place. It’s a shame how many violent break ups happen, and how many people are physically harmed as a result of breaking up. Don’t be one of the statistics, let your anger flow but make sure to be private and think before you do.
As cheesy as it is, remember how the song goes. “The sun’ll come out tomorrow” is important to keep in mind. Think about it this way, how will you feel a month from now? How about 3 months? Do you think you will still be feeling the same way? Of course not, so feel what you’re feeling while you can, it’s strong pain, but it is only temporary. You’ll come out on top no matter how long it takes.
Break Ups Are Beautiful
One thing I realized after my break up was the sheer beauty of life. It may sound crazy but think about it this way. For me to have been as sad as I was, I would have at some point in my life had to have experienced something so good. It might be a little hard to follow, but a perfect way to put it is quite simply this. How could you enjoy a sunny day outside, if you’ve never had to spend a stormy day inside? Do you think you would still appreciate a sunny day if you’ve never been rained on?
For as much sulking I did, and for everything I regret about how I handled my break up, I still say one of the best feelings of my life was the day after I was broken up with. I felt every conceivable emotion in one day, and yeah I felt like garbage the entire day, but that was the first time I ever was honest with myself about how I felt. For once, I put aside my ego and allowed myself to be honest. It was lowkey a spiritual awakening of sorts.
I once felt like I would never get back to feeling normal. Well, here I am 2 years later. I have a girlfriend of two years and I would like to think I am at the best mental standing I have ever been in. Allowing myself to get emotional was the greatest thing that ever happened to me, and I wouldn’t change anything about how things went. Even though it was one of the worst times of my life, it was probably the most emotional growth I ever had or will have, and that’s worth something. However, If everything else fails at making you feel better, just blare this song at maximum volume.
Break ups are a part of life, so remember what Young Dro says as you carry on. What advice do you have for a bros going through break ups? Let us know in the comments below!
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Senior at Central State University. Major in Broadcast Media!