Dating in your teens and twenties gives me a similar feeling to that of navigating a mine field. You never know when you’re going to get royally f**ked, and while the adrenaline might be a rush you’re definitely petrified.
1. The Emotionally Unavailable One
Trying to decipher his emotions is like reading hieroglyphs only he understands. You’re dating him, but probably frequently wonder ‘does he even like me’? Don’t expect displays of affection, because this guy would rather step on a tac than expose that he has interest in you.
2. The Ghost
Is he dead? Did he fling his phone into a well? Did he flee the country with a Argentinian model? Who knows. When he texts back in less than 12 hours you’re shocked and feel like something might be wrong. Whatever he’s been doing for the past week is super important and he doesn’t have 30 seconds to tell you he’s busy.
3. The Clinger
Possibly alluring at first, but quickly makes you want to strangle him. He needs to know what you ate for breakfast, what shoes you’re wearing, and what kind of toothpaste you bought at the grocery store. If you lose your Snapchat streak he is more than likely to have a full-on panic attack.
4. The Red Flag
He doesn’t like you showing any cleavage and won’t let you go out with your friends. When you don’t text back for 30 minutes he assumes you’re cheating and leaves you five screaming voicemails. Get out as fast as you can sis.
5. The Cheater
Might be an ex-girlfriend, a drunken one-night stand or a stash of secret nudes that definitely aren’t of you. Sneaky, and can be disguised as any of the other boyfriend types.
6. The Friend
Whether you started out as best buds or are just super close, being intimate with him starts to make you feel like you’re kissing your childhood friend. Sorry pal, back to the friend zone.
7. The Burnout
He can make smoke rings, maybe shreds some gnarly skate tricks and definitely skipped a class today. Does he have aspirations? No. Any goals of any form? No. Can you imagine a future with him in any capacity? Also no.
8. The Future President
He might have an inflated ego, or genuinely be a successful ass man, but either way it means little communication and a lot of study dates. He’s motivated enough to do 500 things at once, but one of those things is probably not a Netflix marathon, heads up. Not the worst type to have, and who knows, if you stick with him he may end up being the next Barack Obama.
9. The Flake
Holiday plans? Dinner date? Movie night at home? No matter what you planned weeks or months ago something suddenly came up! He’s busy, or just doesn’t answer the phone. I suggest double booking plans, so then at least when you get stood up you didn’t put on foundation for nothing. When paired with The Ghost type you might as well invest in a really great body pillow, you won’t be seeing him anytime soon.
10. The Good One
Rare as a needle in a haystack, these ones don’t come along often. They respect you and show affection, but know boundaries and don’t smother you. You both have separate lives but are benefitted by being in each others. (Cheesy, I know.) Appreciate them and take notes – now you know how you deserve to be treated. Don’t accept anything less.