I remember riding on the train with my dad and my baby brother. I remember going to the swimming pool and feeling like I was the luckiest girl in the world when my dad lifted me out of the water and high into the air. I was safe. Now, there are so many things I wish I could say to my dad.<\/p>\n
I lost my dad when I was three-and-a-half. I don\u2019t remember the day it happened, or how I felt at the time. I\u2019m not the first person in the world to lose their father as a child, and I know I won\u2019t be the last. Sometimes, I feel as though the pain I feel is unique; and I suppose it really is unique to me, because he was my dad.<\/p>\n
Life is great. I have a loving mum, brother, aunts, uncles, grandparents, and friends. But, there\u2019s an emptiness. A loneliness that I can\u2019t explain, but that I put down to not having my dad around. It\u2019s exacerbated at this time of the year because my dad\u2019s funeral was on Christmas Eve. Fathers Day sucks. The day barely exists in our household. And it\u2019s the same on his birthday each year. People are always sympathetic. They say things like, \u201cI\u2019m so sorry\u201d or \u201cLet me know if there is anything I can do\u201d. But the truth is \u2013 I don\u2019t need anything.<\/p>\n
My dad was popular. He was tall. He was funny. He was admired. He worked hard and he loved even harder. He was the love of my mum\u2019s life, and was obsessed with all things sport. I don\u2019t personally remember these traits, but I\u2019m lucky that my dad\u2019s best friend, and my aunties\u2019 share so many wonderful stories with me about my dad. My grandparents\u2019 have a library of home videos; many of which show my dad with me, my mum, and my brother playing, laughing, and loving. In some ways, I consider myself lucky because his presence in my life, although not physical, has taught me to appreciate and love with everything I have.<\/p>\n
Dad, I just want to tell you:<\/p>\n
Gratitude is something that is often taken for granted and \u201cthank you\u201d are words often left behind. I want to thank my dad for the time he spent with me, the love he showed our family and me. I thank you, dad, for being someone that people were proud to call a friend.<\/p>\n
Dad, you were in your element when you were playing sport. I am proud of the stories I hear of your umpiring days when you would show those seniors who\u2019s boss and I\u2019m even prouder of your success on the cricket pitch. More than that, I am proud of you. You were one extraordinary human being.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
I know you\u2019re up there being our guardian angel but I want you to know that we are okay. Some days are harder than others but we always make it through. Dad, you raised some pretty tough cookies!<\/p>\n
Everyone always tells me I must have your brains. I heard that when you weren\u2019t outside playing the sport of the season, you were pretty good at English and writing. I want you to know that I got into university last year and have been studying Journalism ever since. I\u2019m going to be on television one day!<\/p>\n
I\u2019m sure you are very well aware but I want to tell you anyway. England won the Ashes last year in a thrilling battle that saw English batsman Joe Root ranked best batsman in the world. I know this would\u2019ve been up there in the proudest moments of your life! I don\u2019t know much about your beloved sport but I do know the Poms won the series 3-2, which made mum very happy because she\u2019s always going on about the \u201carrogant\u201d Aussies.<\/p>\n
I\u2019ve been dancing since I was five and recently my team and I have had some great success. I like to believe that my role within the team is foreshadowed by your legacy of never giving up. I hope one day we can dance together. Every girl needs at least one daddy-daughter dance in her lifetime.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
I am sorry for all the times that I was too selfish or immature to be the bigger person when I\u2019ve had fights with my brother. I\u2019m also sorry that we let mum get sad and mad and everything in between. I promise we are doing our best to look after her, just like you would have. Mum has some kind of superhuman inner strength and I\u2019m sorry that we take advantage of that sometimes. She\u2019s still human after all.<\/p>\n
I think about you each day dad. Whether it\u2019s a vague memory or just me wondering if what I\u2019m doing would have your approval. I think of you when I meet new friends, I wonder if you would like them and I get nervous when I meet new boys because I don\u2019t have my big, tall, scary dad to set them straight if they make me cry. Having you in my heart as I go about my day makes it easier to carry on and find myself in the great big world that\u2019s out there.<\/p>\n
I tell my friends that I miss them when I haven\u2019t seen them in a week. I tell my brother I miss him when he goes away on school camp. But nothing will ever compare to what I feel when I say I miss you. It\u2019s hard to miss something that I barely remember but I know all the things I\u2019ve been missing out. Bad dad jokes, watching you play cricket, your hugs and your smile. The thought of having these things in my life every day, makes me miss you even more.<\/p>\n
To me, these are the most powerful three words in the world. I\u2019ve always found it hard to say these words, even when I mean it more than anything. I want you to know that I do love you and you mean more to me than you will ever know.<\/p>\n
Dad, I love you.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
I remember riding on the train with my dad and my baby brother. I remember going to the swimming pool and feeling like I was the luckiest girl in the world when my dad lifted me out of the water and high into the air. I was safe. Now, there are so many things I…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":19877,"featured_media":105574,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":true,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[86],"tags":[],"thb-sponsors":[],"class_list":["post-105561","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-relationships"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\n