10 Things You Will Never Hear A Student Say At UniSA

I'm a second year Bachelor of Journalism and Professional Writing…

The new uni year is just around the corner with thousands of new and returning students. Whether you’re only starting university this year or if you’ve been on holiday mode for four months (like me), you might be a little out of touch with the uni culture. So here’s a list compiled of the things you will never hear a student say at UniSA (specifically the Magill campus):

1. ‘Yes, I did all the readings.’

No you didn’t. You probably haven’t even bought the textbooks.

2. ‘I should probably get a start on this assignment soon.’

(Unless this is the night before.)

3. ‘Where should I eat today?’

The answer is Aroma.

4. ‘I go to the library to read.’

You either go to the library to socialise or to nap.

5. ‘I love lectures in H1-44.’

Not if you want anything to stay on your desk for more than 2 minutes.

6. ‘Spending half an hour looking for a carpark is exactly what I wanted to do at 9am on a Monday.’

Unless your first class isn’t until about 1pm, good luck finding any parks close to uni.

7. ‘It’s so convenient how all of the computers are equipped with Adobe.’

Only four computer suites are and even then, they are all different versions so have fun figuring out how to Photoshop all over again.

8. ‘Why did we just get a global extension?’

You get another week on the assignment you haven’t started yet.

9. ‘I get up two hours before my first class to make myself look presentable.’

Maybe for the first week or two but after that, you’ll probably be seeing people in what could easily pass as pajamas.

10. ‘Parki is so convenient.’

No.