Some people may thing being obsessed with food is a bad thing, but really? Can you ever be too obsessed with food? It’s delicious. And wonderful. And it will never tell you that it’s not looking for a commitment, or that you don’t spend enough time with it. Plus, there are few things in life that a delicious meal can’t make better. That being said, maybe your love affair with burritos and the newest cafes are verging on obsession. Not sure? Read on for 20 things you can relate to if you are obsessed with food.
1. Your Facebook feed is full of cooking videos. And recipes. And food pictures.
Babies? No. Cats? No. Political nonsense? No. You open your Facebook feed and see glorious photos of scrumptious looking cakes, mouth-watering burgers, and recipes for delicious foods you can’t pronounce but know you need to try. Your favorite Facebook friends are Epicurious and Food52.
2. You plan vacations around food.
Other people have a list of places to see when they go on vacation. Not you. You have a check list of must try foods for wherever you’re headed. You’ve also researched the best restaurants and cafes that you must try. And you’ve saved them all in your google maps. Along with the times they’re open and their signature dishes.
3. Your Instagram pictures are of food. All food.
You take pictures of everything you eat. And have no problem spending as much time as it takes finding the perfect filter to make sure you do justice to that amazing cupcake you got at that amazing little café next to campus. Ditto for the perfect acai bowl or delicious pad thai. Your Instagram is a what’s what of must-eats.
4. That new list of must eat places? Yeah, you’ve already been. To all of them.
Five best burgers? Eaten. Hippest new bars? Been. Best spots for brunch? Done. They really should be paying you to write about them.
Sweet. Savory. Alcoholic. The joys of a good brunch are what get you through the week. You have no problem standing in line for ages waiting to satisfy those Saturday morning (or maybe afternoon) hunger pains after a great night out.
6. The words “I’m fine with anything, really,” make your soul hurt.
People who don’t care what they eat are just, no, wait, but, really? Words lose meaning when you hear your new guy say he really doesn’t care, because for you, food is more than just calories, it’s your life.
7. You wake up thinking about what to have for breakfast.
Pancakes or eggs? Going out or eating in? Maybe something savory and sweet, like that thing, from that video that you’ve been meaning to try. All of this before your head has even left the pillow. And when you finally do get that first bite? Bliss.
8. Butter. ‘Nuff said.
There is no substitute for butter. Thighs and gym time be damned.
9. You’ll sneak a peek at the dinner menu…during lunch.
Lunch was so amazing, maybe you’ll just have a glance at their dinner menu, just in case you want to come back some time. And you have no shame about asking the waitress to bring it to you after you just polished off a huge plate of food.
10. You get really upset when someone takes some of your food without asking.
That’s just bad manners. And it’s bad for their health, especially when your fork ends up stabbing their hand (accidentally of course).
11. You are a big fan of stealing bites of other people’s food.
Of course, it’s not bad manners when you do it. You deserve to try a bite of that deliciousness! They wouldn’t even be at this restaurant without you. You think of it as more of an introduction tax.
12. You look at what everyone else in the restaurant is eating…and then ask the waitress about all of it.
Unfortunately, you can really only order one dish without looking like a complete pig. So looking at everyone else’s food and asking the waitress what it is, where it is on the menu, and would she recommend it is just the smart way to go. If you can only pick one, research must be done.
13. You don’t share memes. You share recipes. Recipes are better.
Everyone needs to know about those awesome bourbon-glazed meatballs and ricotta lemon pancakes. These are important tidbits of information to pass on for the betterment of Facebook friends everywhere. Cat memes come and go, but the ability cook the perfect bacon-wrapped turkey will never go out of style.
14. You’ll eat dinner twice.
You just finished chowing down on some deliciousness you brought from home while you finish that grueling paper when someone invites you try that awesome new BBQ place that opened up. Any other person might respond with “Sorry, I already ate”, but not you. You’re already online looking at the menu because let’s be real: BBQ.
15. You’re on a first name basis with the Deliveroo driver in your area.
He doesn’t need directions to your place anymore, and he is totally not surprised that you ordered more food than one person could ever eat. You don’t even feel the need to pretend that you have friends over. John (or Luke or Bryan…does it really matter if he brings you yummy goodness?) knows you’re a total food whore.
16. A diet would be worse than death.
A diet…you tried that once. You made it all of three hours before busting open some cookies and realizing you love your body just the way it is. Seriously. As long as it means eating anything you want, you’re good with it.
17. You already know what your last meal would be.
As long as there’s no limit on how many different dishes you can have, you’ve got your last meal all planned out. Starting with appetizers, multiple mains, and followed by a buffet of desserts, of course. Now, if you had to limit it to one of each, there might be trouble…but just ignore that horrible thought for now.
18. Manners mean nothing when there is something delicious and messy in front of you.
Your motto is that food is meant to be enjoyed and manners be damned. Sauce dripping down your chin and grease on your fingers just means that you’re enjoying your food even more. As for the person sitting across from you, they can just turn away if they have a problem. That’s what they get for ordering a salad.
19. You ask everyone else at the table what they are ordering before you make a decision.
It may seem like you’re making conversation, but secretly you’re assessing what will be on the table and planning how to try as many things off the menu as possible, all while ordering the one thing that sounds the best. They’ll be okay if you steal a bite. Or two.
20. You use #foodporn constantly.
If you were a hashtag, you would be #foodporn. And no, you are not ashamed. Hungry for #foodporn and proud!
So, are you obsessed with food? I certainly hope so. Food is wonderful, and if anything above struck a chord with you, there’s a good chance you might be food obsessed. If you start having three dinners every day you might have a problem, but the constant food pictures and occasional second dinner aren’t hurting anyone, let alone you. Plus, when you become the next celebrity chef or it-girl food blogger, you can look back at your food obsession and think about how it launched your career.