University can be quite challenging. You may second guess yourself. Such as is the career path you want or does monobrow match my Uggs? Don’t worry everyone thinks about these things. There are so many things every Queensland University of Technology student asks themselves. Here are some things students ponder about when they should be listening in class.
1. WTF am I doing here?
Is what we all ask ourselves. We could be working at our Dad’s furniture shop, earn a living, having our own place, living life. Instead we decided to write 10 thousand word reports on whether plants prefer chocolate milk or decaf. FML
2. Should I get started on the assignment?
We’ve all had that procrastinator voice always enticing us. Calling us to watch a TV show that was popular 5 years ago, that you just happen to be thinking about when your assessment is due the next day. “Should I finish the last few seasons of Buffy the Vampire Slayer or graduate. Eh, what’s another year of Uni”.
3. Why don’t I have any friends?
You see people walking in groups, laughing, chatting. laying on the lawn, lazing about, talking about that sick party last weekend. All without a care in the world. And then there’s you. Wearing clothes off the floor with last week’s dinner. Just did a 2-hour commute with no deodorant. Hair all long and greasy because showers are overrated. And as you mine out a massive booger you say to yourself “Why don’t I have friends?”.
4. There’s no exams today, right?
There’s nothing worse than waking up fresh in the morning with a spring in your step. Ready to conquer the world.
Arriving to Uni going, “I’m going to change today. From now on, I will start all my assessments early. Follow the weekly material ahead of classes. And try my hardest, 1% more than the day before”.
Only to realise you were minutes too late to a 50% exam.
5. Should I go to Uni or stay at home?
Everyone’s had this internal dialogue of whether taking a commute to Uni to take a class is worth it. However, there’s always that long train ride. Where everyone looks like they’re either hungover, dead inside or just watched Suicide Squad. Seriously, Casey Affleck in Manchester by the Sea was a ray of sunshine compared some of these train people. Then you get walking to Uni and at the entrance people hand you flyers and give you sob stories of how you can save a life. Really? Me using your discount Amazon card is going to save a Brazilian boy from joining the cartel.
“Don’t worry Juan, you’re going to have an education since I bought a box of Pokémon cards and bouncy balls. You’re welcome”. Then you found out you travelled 3 hours for a 1 hour tutorial. And all you did in the tutorial was introduce yourself to the class like some AA meeting, and leave. If you have a virtual lecture or tutorial? Watch it. Commutes ssssuuuuuuuuuck.
6. Should I get the textbook?
You should wait a few weeks until it’s mandatory to get a textbook. Some units will preach the book and that it’s your lord and saviour, but it’s not. You don’t want to get a textbook before class starts. If you do have to get a textbook, get a used one. New ones cost over $100. You might as well timeshare the book with classmates or borrow one from the library and photocopy the ENTIRE book. Yeah, I said it. 50 cents a paper is cheaper than a new textbook.
Now, when buying a used textbook, it may feel like a drug deal, they may be dressed like a drug dealer. But unfortunately, it’s not since drugs are way cheaper. When you meet with your contact it’s okay to mention how the unit was when they did it. However, be warned as they may go into a PTSD flashback. It’s best to pay the money, give them curtsy and leave before you trigger a seizure.
7. Am I carrying this group assignment or are they carrying me?
If you are asking this, you’re the one dragging them behind. Because the person doing the most/all the work is too stressed and busy to be talking to themselves. And if you think the team won’t mind that your late in submitting your part or that you don’t help in the brainstorming meeting, then you are dead wrong. They will stab you the second the tutor asks how the assignment is going. And when the results you’ll get more wounds in your back than Willem Dafoe in Platoon.
8. I can have one last drink, can’t I?
You need help. There are some meeting around Brisbane. I’m sure someone will be your sponsor. I’m sure the university has a counsellor for this. Don’t be afraid to seek assistance.
9. Does my shirt smell?
Yep. It does. I can smell it from here. Oh god. It’s so bad. I’m actually having trouble finishing this paragraph because of how sme…… (✖╭╮✖)
10. I hope I get something out of this.
Unless you got an internship during Uni, you’re not. QUT has so many services that will help you get a graduate job. If you want to stay at home playing Pokémon cards and bouncy balls all day, then get used to your mom’s basement. And say hello to being one of life’s leeches.