No one can tell you how to love yourself. Only you can truly love yourself. I understand how hard and mentally challenging it can be. Trust me. I’ve been a model since I was fourteen, so I can relate how horrible it can be to find that inner love. I was one of the very lucky ones; I have a wonderful agency that supports girls of all sizes. I’m sharing my personal experiences so maybe you can relate and hopefully with some of my tips you can begin to learn self love.
Young girls growing up in high school can be rough. Its something that everyone has to go through, however it doesn’t make it easier. Girls and boys can be tough on each other because they are trying to figure out who they are and how they want to go through life. Hateful comments can pass through and at the time it may seem horrible, and yes it is, but it will pass. You and others grow up, and realise that this isn’t the right thing. It was pass, you will grow and others will grow.
Relationships in high school aren’t forever either, boys can make you fee terrible about yourself, but i promise you, they don’t know a thing about being a man yet. They want to act a certain way in front of their friends. In year 8 i was called ‘ugly’ by a boy, that hurt me deeply, but now six years later, it doesn’t matter. In the moment, yes it hurt, but again you move on and grow. Self love helps you grow stronger and depend upon yourself.
Now, someone once told me the best thing I have ever heard. I live by this saying. ‘Dont focus on the things you hate about yourself, focus on the good.” Let me tell you I’ve never stopped saying that to myself. Everyone has insecurities, everyone. You, your mum, even your neighbour has insecurities. Agreed, there are features about yourself you may not be able to avoid or move past. Something that cant be changed. That should only remind you of where you came from. You have the same birthmark as your father, or you inherited your ears from your mother.
It should remind you of the blessing to be loved by two and that you are a mixture of the most important people you will ever have in your life. So instead of hating the things you dislike about yourself, to which many people may find that thing to be apart of who you are and love you for it. Focus on the things you love about yourself and the things that you have inherited and love them unconditionally until they just become apart of who you are.
Modelling from a young age makes you realise things sooner that what you think. Being a model from a young age, just pointed out things that were ‘wrong’’ with my body. Even still as an eighteen year old I still think about those things. I’ve quickly had to become aware of the changes in my body. Of course I am not the same size I was when I was 14. I was still a girl, barely a teenager. However now growing in my body as a women, getting hips and growing into my curves, I am changing. That’s okay, that is whats suppose to happen. I understand that there is plenty of girls who are naturally skinny, and can eat until their hearts content. Often they are called the ‘lucky’ ones. Some may agree, others may not. People have different preferences. They may love curves more, they may love slimmer more. Everyone is beautiful and that is the most important thing I have learned from modelling. The most important thing is to find the beauty and self love within yourself.
Comparing your body to others is again what every one does unfortunately. The brain finds ways to see everything right with another girl and everything wrong with you. The point here is to not let your brain run you. She may be beautiful, but so are you; she may be skinnier, but you don’t know her story. You may catch her looking at you, a healthy individual who aspires to be you.
When you train your brain to stop thinking these thoughts, the world becomes clearer. You become happier. I can’t even explain to you how happy I have been this year taking a short break from modelling, to focus on just loving myself, I traveled for a short time, and enjoyed every aspect of it. I can’t say that I am 100% there yet but I am getting there. Practicing self love takes time and dedication as all things do.
Comparing myself to others isn’t a priority anymore, I focus on what I love about my body rather than what I hate, I accept it and move on. You will get there, and when you do, it will be the most amazing life. Bodies are shaped differently, the sooner you accept that, the sooner you will completely and utterly love yourself.