The one, how do we know when we have met them? Do they even exist? These are questions often asked in times of solitude and soul searching. There is lots of pressure from society to lock down ‘the one’, but how do any of us know when we are dating this person? You’ve been on a few dates and things seem to be going so well you begin to think, could this be my person? Here are a few things to tick off your checklist that will help for how to know if you found the one!
1. They listen to you and your round-about stories.
You always seem to talk about Jan from the office and her lack of photocopying abilities, yet they sit there and ask you questions as if it was just as frustrating for them as it was for you.
2. The important things to them are important to you.
You have recently found yourself learning the parts of a car, the rules of soccer or the importance of a top coat when painting nails. All of which seemed insignificant before meeting this person.
3. You would do anything to make them happy.
You’ve been dating for a few months now and all of a sudden bae wants you to attend their social gatherings and dinner parties. You feel sick and uneasy at the thought of effort you will need to pull together to impress new people. But you put on your LBD or best fitted suit because you would do anything to make them happy. You also go to the conscious effort of maintaining the toilet seat the way they like… (this will soon dissipate as you care less the longer you’ve been together).
4. You feel safe when you are with them.
You could sit on an oval in the middle of a thunderstorm with no fear of lightening striking. There is something about being in their presence that just melts away any fear you may have held onto when sitting in that same spot alone.
5. They invest time into meeting your family and friends.
Your partner has no issues sitting with Uncle Travis discussing his new dentures or deflecting the swift pick up lines from Aunty May. Somehow they manage to get through family birthday dinners and after work drinks impressing all of your friends and family.
6. You like who you are when you are with them.
Its easy to get swept up in putting on a show and being something you’re normally not when in the presence of someone you’re trying to impress. Although we are all a different version of ourselves when with different people, the person you are with them is a person you like, and a person who makes you happy.
7. They include you in their future plans.
The prospective plans start off minor like, “We should go there next week for dinner”. This slowly migrates into bigger plans, such as buying festival tickets together, planning weekends away until you realize they are buying the brand of butter you like and have stocked up on dry shampoo for your early morning rises.
8. The thought of only seeing this person for the rest of your life doesn’t scare you.
Looking respectively at your past relationships, the thought of having to spend the rest of your life with these people seems like a nightmare. Yet, somehow this person is different. They are someone you want to spend all your spare time with, someone you want to bring with you everywhere and someone you want to have around for a lifetime.
9. Your insecurities are set aside with their care and reassurance.
You occasionally reminisce about how the kids in high school called you large Marge, four eyes or slutty Stacy. Yet this person knows how to make you feel special and beautiful, and more importantly you believe in what they say. They belittle remarks about your body shape, vision impairments and style choice to make you feel like the best person you can be.
10. They appreciate the little things you do.
You make coffee for two when you put the pot on and package last nights’ dinner into two take out containers for lunch the next day. You put their phone on charge at night and offer a jacket, blanket or bed room session when they are remarking about the cold. All of these things are acknowledged and thanked, nothing goes unnoticed.
11. You find yourself talking about the big things with them.
The discussion of living over seas, buying houses and future children doesn’t seem as scary as it may have been in the past. You are eager to find out where they sit on these topics to hopefully align some core values.
12. You trust them with your secrets.
There are things that some of us fear to say out loud, yet alone in the presence of others. But you find yourself comfortable talking about desires, past failures and dreams with your partner. You could never have imagined feeling so comfortable with someone such that these secrets could be shared.
13. The thought of them being sad or hurt upsets you.
You want them to achieve their best, and when they face set backs you meet these with disappointment together. The idea that someone or something could hurt your one, puts you into combat mode with protection and security set to high. You conduct your actions and choices guided by how the other person may feel.
14. It’s easy.
You seem to be able to hold a conversation for ages about anything that pops up. You’re no longer thinking before you speak, as you are unconsciously comfortable with talking about everyday affairs. It’s just as easy to talk to them as it is to sit in silence. You no longer grasp to fill the silence in the car or out at restaurants and instead find solace in the sheer company of each other.
15. You love them.
They tick off all of the things from this list and more, your heart warms at the thought of a forever with them. You’ve thought about what it might sound like to say it out loud, and how they would respond. You only live life once, so fall in love and fall out of love. But make sure you tell those you love that you do, because the ones who count will love you too.
Have any other telltale signs for how to know if you found the one? Share your thoughts down below!
Featured image source: weheartit.com
Adventure enthusiast, who loves weekend drinks with the girls and spending time on the beach!