A Guy’s Guide: When To Say I Love You
You put the I in I love you. You were the one that fell for this person, and you are going to be the one to tell them. Because we know how hard it is to say I love you, it’s nice to hear somebody else tell us when we should do it. I’m not going to tell you when you should do it. I’m just going to give you my two cents to offer you some ideas.
1. You Can Do It Before You Start Dating
Weird, right? You’d think everyone else would vote against this one… Well I did it. And we’re going on over a year rn. So, I guess it can work!
2. There is A Bad Time
There’s no perfect time, but I believe there is a bad time to say I love you. Two things to remember when telling someone you love them is to (1) do it when you two are alone and (2) when they are not very stressed out. Remember that you are putting your emotions out on the line. When you offer your vulnerable self to them, you want them to have the emotional availability to respect what you’re saying.
3. A Better Time
When you two are hanging alone. Remember, just my two cents 🙂 .
4. Has A Lot Of Time Passed?
Has a lot of time passed, and you haven’t said I love you…? Now, we could go in three different directions here. The first is to ask, do you believe you love them, but are afraid to say it? The second is a rather mature outlook: do you believe love is harvested from a much longer shared experience with this individual and you need more time to let your feelings blossom? And the final is if you’re waiting for the other person to say it. No one can give you the right answer. But maybe reading the scenarios above can shed light on your thoughts or insecurities, and push future action forward.
Hot Tip: If you love your partner, but want them to say it first, I recommend you say it. Why? Because harboring an I love you, can create resentment. Your I love you can light their fire to return the phrase. And if they don’t, then you two can have a discussion about it like mature individuals. Both scenarios are exemplary of a healthy, romantic relationship.
Want personal advice? I’m always down to help. Feel free to reach out to me on Twitter and Instagram!
5. Don’t Say It After The First Time You Think It
You want to slow down before you offer to someone else the powerful words that are I love you. Ruminate on why you think you love this person. It gives you time to confirm or deny the thought for yourself. The chances are high that you’re not wrong. Did you think it because you feel pressured to be in a relationship already, or because they have qualities you’ve never experienced in a potential partner before?
Hot Tip: In my opinion, I believe there is a too soon period. And I think that is within the first month of knowing this person.
We all hate being alone. Some enjoy it better than others. Reflect and ask yourself why you think you’ve fallen in love with this person and make sure you’re not saying I love you to someone that keeps you company more than they keep you happy.
7. Not During Sex
I will make this decision for you. You will not tell them I love you for the first time, during sex. You can mean it sincerely, but they will think forever that your I love you was ingenue because it was during a time that you wanted something in return. You could also regret it yourself, after the fact.