Having confidence is not always easy. To tell the truth, we’re all going to fail at something at some point in our life – we’re human. But being confident will help give you the strength to, “Dust your self off and try again,” as sung by Aaliyah. So whether you just broke up with your boyfriend, didn’t get the job you wanted, received an “F” on a midterm, or you’ve just been having a rough week, here are eight surefire ways to build self confidence and push on through.
1. Eliminate all negativity.
It’s nearly impossible to build self confidence without the right people in your corner, which means it is extremely important to cut off the people or things in your life that don’t make you happy. This might sound scary at first, but think about it – why would you want to associate yourself with anything that makes you less than happy?! Work hard to eliminate these “fun suckers” or “Debby downers,” and remember negative energy is not a friend of confidence!
2. Surround yourself with positivity.
After all the negativity is eliminated in your life you will immediately begin to build self confidence. You’ve automatically started to surround yourself with positive things by getting rid of the ones that were bringing you down. Try to surround yourself with people who encourage you to be the best that you can be – whether it a mentor to hold you accountable, a friend to encourage you, or a spiritual leader to guide you.
3. Focus on your health.
This can also be called the “I Love Me” step because it is here that you realize how important it is to take care of yourself FIRST, before you can do so for anyone else. Focus on your health and doing whatever steps necessary to make yourself feel good…because when you FEEL good, you LOOK good! I believe that when you eat clean, exercise, drink water and meditate, you begin to radiate. A glow that comes from within is the essence of confidence. So make an effort to chose exercise over a burger and fries!
4. Be like Kanye…Be your #1 fan!
This is my favorite step to build self confidence. I believe self love is what fuels self confidence – so it is crucial that you love yourself to the core. Find comfort in the fact that even if no one else has your back, you do! Be your best friend! Don’t feel hesitant to go on an adventure alone because it’s through these experiences that you learn who you are! People’s opinions, ideas, or expectations can be so constricting, but when you are in the company of yourself a different side of you emerges, which is the TRUE you. This is a side you will learn to love and enjoy. So be your number one fan! I use daily affirmations, as well as encrypted messages in computer passwords or sticky notes, that remind myself everyday how smart, independent, fun, loving, passionate, amazing, intelligent, genius, creative, INDEPENDENT, and strong I am. If you don’t think your the -ish, how can you expect anyone else to?
5. Look the part.
Sometimes you have to fake it ’till you make it, and being confident is no different. Money, fancy cars, and nice clothes will give you temporary confidence. If want life long “I love me” confidence, learn how to make eye contact, shake hands firmly, and have great posture at ALL times. Encourage yourself to always smile, because confidence feels like a natural high, so emulate that in your body language. Before you know it you are the most confident person in the room.
6. Be open to change.
If you can build self confidence, great, but it’s the remaining confident part that’s tough. Staying confident through even the worst of times requires being open to criticism and change. Openness allows you to be optimistic and to see all things from the many angles which they come, including your flaws and imperfections. Self confidence is all about self improvement.
7. Set goals.
Set goals that are challenging, but attainable! You want to be in competition with yourself – know what your strengths and weaknesses are, and work to improve on those.
8. And more importantly – accomplish them.
The more goals you accomplish based on YOU, the more confident you will feel about yourself. By constantly trying to become a better person than you were yesterday, you give purpose to today.