Whether you met in coffee shop or started talking on Tinder– let’s face it, it was probably Tinder—college is a time to meet new people and experiment with dating. Navigating dating can be tricky, here few red flag signs to look out for and avoid when dating.
If they’re too excited to be with you.
If the person you’re seeing is a tad too excited to be with you—without getting to know you first—then he or she may be infatuated with the idea of being with someone. Instead of being hyped about how wonderful you are, this person is more excited about being with someone—with anyone. Or they just want to get in your pants. Either way, watch out for this type of behavior. They’ll say all the right things to you, but then you’ll find them saying the same things to some girl on your floor the next day.
If they’re keeping secrets.
If your guy keeps taking private phone calls when you’re hanging out or gets jumpy whenever you look over his shoulder, then he might be dating more than one person. Dating is such a loose term these days, especially in college where dating is so casual. Make sure you know what you’re getting yourself into, the person you’re seeing may not be only seeing you.
If they’re straight-up mean.
Everybody likes good banter, but on a first date? No way. This is the biggest dating red flag of all. If he puts you down or teases you relentlessly minutes after meeting you then this is a sign to run. Usually, people are polite, sweet, and want to make a good impression on a first date. If they’re messing with you already just imagine what they’ll act like when you two start getting comfortable around one another.
If the conversation isn’t balanced.
If you’re just starting to hang out, then whoever you’re dating might be nervous at first. That shouldn’t mean that you have to do all the talking—or vice versa. Make sure there is a balanced talking and listening ratio in your conversation. If he keeps talking on and on without letting you get a word in then he might be a tad full of himself. Make sure he asks about you as well. On the other hand, if he’s too quiet, ask him easy, lighthearted questions about himself to try to get him talking.
If they mention their ex.
If they bring up their ex at all on a first date at all then there’s something totally wrong. They’re either not over their breakup or super bitter about it. Either way, there’s no point of going on a second date.
If they’re a douche.
We all know a guy who’s a total douche He has the shirtless selfies on Snapchat and Tinder. He’s always seen with groups of loud guys, he’s super into himself, and he’s just straight up rude. Stay away from this guy and always swipe left, literally and metaphorically.
If they pressure you.
Everyone wants a “Notebook” love story, but most of the time that just doesn’t happen. Casual sex is a part of college culture. If you’re not comfortable getting intimate after a first date, don’t feel like you have to do anything. If a guy pressures you or doesn’t text you back because you weren’t comfortable with jumping his bones after the first date, then that’s that his problem—not yours.
Kavita is a student at State University of Plattsburgh and will be graduating in 2018. She enjoys hosting an on-campus radio show called "Happy Hour."