When you’re in a relationship, whether it’s new or you’ve been together forever, you want it to be perfect at all times. We all know that’s not possible and there are plenty of relationship mistakes. You may not always mean to, but sometimes mistakes are made in relationships that don’t always help the “perfect” cause. It’s hard when all you want things to do is simply work out. Becoming knowledgeable about what NOT to do in a relationship might be an important ingredient to making things work. Here are 6 of those common relationship mistakes you must avoid!
1. Being co-dependent.
The lovey-dovey phase is always blissful. You guys spend all your free time together. However, here is a very important statement: You do not need other people to make you happy. While you might focus a lot of your time with your significant other, make sure you don’t depend your happiness on him or her. If you find yourself constantly making the effort in the relationship, and planning your schedule based on your significant other, stop and think about the other things you have going for you besides your relationship.
2. Controlling too much.
If you feel like you have to set restrictions on your bae or you’re worried he or she might cheat, then there is a problem. Your solution cannot be locking him or her up or blowing up their phone when you’re not together. What is going to happen if you’re at work or in class? Or when you go on vacation? If you’re worried someone is going to cheat on you, then you probably shouldn’t want to be with that person anyway. Remember they have a life too, so let them live it. And if you’re the one being controlled, let them know it’s not going to fly.
3. Rushing into things.
This can mean a lot of things. Obviously there is the physical kind of rushing where things escalate too fast. Additionally, if you emotionally invest yourself in a new relationship, then there is going to be an attachment that could possibly become unhealthy. For a new relationship, take some time and reflect. Why are you jumping into this relationship? Some people do because they’re lonely. Sometimes, you might not even like the person. Insecurities can get the best of us, so remember to slow down.
4. Lack of Communication.
Make sure you can talk things out and feel comfortable about it. The whole analyzing their every text thing has to stop eventually. This is a huge reason why relationships end. Two people can’t express their issues with each other. Instead, one person might be passive aggressive while another person might talk crap to their friends rather than going to the source directly. If there’s a problem, let them know. The relationship will be stronger because of it.
5. Taking him/her for granted.
This happens too often in relationships when two people get too comfortable with each other. Once you’re in a relationship, you have to prioritize other aspects in life such as work, school, and friends. However, you want to make sure that your bae really does come before anyone else. Make sure you remind them how special he or she is. Also, schedule time for dates and a little QT. This can also be an easy trap to fall into if you’re making the rushing mistake. You might not even like them, but you keep them around anyways, but that isn’t fair to them.
6. Changing yourself.
Don’t be anything, but yourself. When you start a new relationship, you may want to find common ground, but don’t pretend to like things he or she likes just because you like them. You don’t always have to agree with everything your significant other says. When you’re in a relationship, you should feel like the best version of yourself. If someone doesn’t like something about you, then that’s probably not the right person for you. BAE might come before anyone else, but they shouldn’t come before you.
If you want to keep your relationship as “perfect” as perfect can be, be sure to become aware if and when you make these mistakes. And remember, everybody makes mistakes, the important thing is that you learn from them.
Kavita is a student at State University of Plattsburgh and will be graduating in 2018. She enjoys hosting an on-campus radio show called "Happy Hour."