In the movies, they make college hookups look effortless and cool, however in reality, it’s much more confusing. So, if you are in the midst of a casual fling, or just considering hooking up with that hottie from Chem class, here are five things you should know about hooking up in college.
1. Hookups only work if you’re both on the same page.
Hooking up only works if all the people involved know exactly what the relationship is, and the parameters are explicitly defined. Emotions have no home here. If you’re going to be friends, than be friends. In my honest opinion (I cannot tell you if I am right or not) you can hook up and still be friends. On the other hand, I think you can be friends first and then hook up, as long as you are prepared for it to not work out. Also be aware that the other person may be hooking up with others as well. This is why defining the relationship from the start is a very integral part to hooking up.
2. Attachment = BAD
Sorry to sound cliche, but it’s good advice. I know it sounds horrible, but don’t make yourself believe that your hookup is more than what it is. If you do – you’re basically asking for heartbreak when the hope for that beautiful love like in The Notebook suddenly fades away into the reality that it is. Hookups are meant to be emotionless for the most part, so don’t have high expectations. It will kill your spirit and leave you crushed in the end.
3. There are always consequences.
When you hook up with someone close to your group of friends, be aware that after you hook up, the dynamic of the relationship might change. You may be putting yourself into an awkward situation which could possibly end a friendship. Also, when you’re intimate with a person you can’t help but be attached to them. We are only human and things happen, so if you end up falling harder than you expected, don’t beat yourself up over it. On a more serious note, hookups can result in potential pregnancy scares and/or diseases. Protect yourself and be smart about how you handle your hookups!
4. Hooking up should be fun and go-with-the-flow!
The idea behind hooking up is to essentially “hookup,” have fun and call it what it is. Usually a hookup doesn’t turn into a full blown relationship, but it can happen. Going with the flow means to not only understand what hooking up means, but if you notice they are starting to have genuine feelings for you and you feel the same, run with it. Once the both of you come to terms that hooking up has turned into more, than go with the flow and change the dynamic of the relationship. Just because you’re hooking up doesn’t mean you’re stuck that way forever. On the flip side, if your hookup seems to be stagnant, than still go with the flow. If you’re having fun, keep up the good work, if you’re bored, move on!
5. Before hooking up, you have to love yourself first.
Knowing your self-worth is important when hooking up in college. You have to know how to emotionally detach yourself because it can result in you getting hurt. If you aren’t strong enough to handle hooking up and possibly not hearing from your partner in days, than maybe the hookup culture is not for you. At the same time, be sure to never let anyone make you feel less than what you are. Even though you should try and keep emotions aside while hooking up, you still deserve to be treated with respect and still have your dignity once it’s over.