Categories: Relationships

5 Signs He’d Rather Chill Than Commit

Is he acting a little sketchy? Find out about red flags he may not be ready to commit.

1. Your texts go unnoticed

He’s really hard to reach this week and your texts stay on delivered. You assume he’s busy. Between practice and studying, he doesn’t have time to talk. WRONG. A text takes less than a minute to send. Explaining what he’s doing and why hasn’t been responding is pretty basic consideration for someone. A man that cares would want to explain. He’d want you to feel confident in the bond you guys share.

Someone that’s looking to hang around for a good time is a person that doesn’t mind ghosting or ignoring you any chance he gets. As girls, we worry about double text or texting too much because that might make us look desperate. When in reality, it should be the other way around. Guys should be the ones up late at night wondering why we haven’t texted them or appreciate the time we take to text them He may be trying to blow you off, but at least have the respect of letting you know this is no longer what they want.

2. His attention is distant

Do you ever find yourself talking to him and his attention is somewhere else? Now, you have to be careful with this one before jumping to conclusion. Many times, guys don’t know how to express themselves when something in their lives is going wrong. They tend to repress it. Try talking to him about it first. If he doesn’t seem genuine with his explanation or worse, seems like he’s lying about it, then you should worry. Words say so much about people and the words you choose to use can give off certain signals. Someone can feel if you are telling the truth or lying, without knowing the real answer. If his attention is distant, it’s because he’s not being honest with you. He’s creating an invisible line between the two of you, so he won’t feel hurt when being distant. Consider doing the same and see if that changes anything. Suddenly, you seem distracted and out of tune. You’re quiet when together and you tell him you’re alright every time. He’s going to start to wonder what it is and how he can fix it. It’s male nature to want to fix a problem and you’re appealing to that area by acting differently.

3. He won’t talk about the future

A man that is afraid of the future, is a man who’s not ready to commit. You guys have been dating for a while and the subject of kids and marriage comes up. He seems to sweat a little more or change the topic every time. You’re starting to wonder if this man sees a future with you or is just along for the ride. So many times, guys shy away from telling girls how they feel on a certain topic, because of the fear of how we’ll react. Fear that we will get mad or cry, maybe even both. The point is, guys assume a scenario in their head and leave us out of the discussion. If he’s not ready for a future with you and isn’t  talking to you about it, that’s a disadvantage to you. Something as important as your future should be a priority conversation. If he doesn’t feel like the relationship is heading down that path, he needs to let you know and stop wasting your time. It does no one any favors by sparing the others feelings because they can move on to someone who does see a future with them. Put this to the test!

4.  He won’t introduce you to friends or family

It’s been months and you haven’t met any of his “boys”or his family. What does that say about you or your status in his mind? Guys can become very possessive when it comes to dating. He has you and he wants you by his side. It’s kinda cute at first, he wants you for himself. After a while, it starts to become a little strange.

He’ll ignore his friends while walking with you, doesn’t mention you to his parents, or avoids any conversations about family in general. These are all red flags. The only logical thing to do is ask him. He’ll probably give you an excuse on him not being ready or needing more time. Giving him time is understandable, but he is not respecting that it has been months of hanging out and nothing has changed. Guys are not hard to decipher. They know what they want within seconds of meeting a girl. If he’s stalling, it means he’s holding back something. Whether that’s secrets, commitment issues, or wanting to have a non-serious relationship with you. He’s holding onto his reserves for a reason.

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5. He doesn’t commit to plans

If he can’t commit to plans, a relationship won’t be any different. You guys have been hanging out for a couple weeks and you feel like it’s been pretty good. Maybe even a little serious, but whenever it comes to making plans or going on dates, he lags to follow through. You’re starting to feel like he doesn’t want to take you public.

Guys will give you 101 excuses on why they can’t make plans like, “I’m just so busy, I can’t commit to a set time” or “Places are always so busy at night, why can’t we just stay in and hang”. Seems like he either doesn’t care to hurt your feelings or feels like he’s got more important things to focus on. A guy that wants to be with you will want to make plans in hopes of you sticking around. They probably won’t try as hard if they already have an exit plan.  A good way to remedy this is to call them out on it. Ask them upfront why they won’t commit to anything with you, no games. Let him know you’re not one to be played with and toss to the side when he’s done. Assert your womanly worth and tell him to either straighten up or get lost. You are not in the business of taking care of little boys who can’t commit to a coffee date, let alone a relationship.

Ladies, let’s stop putting ourselves second for a man that’s not making you his number one. Apply these tips to your life and see how much happier you feel!

Featured Image:
Monica Amador

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