1. You’ve tried to drive on Jayhawk Blvd. during school days.
We’ve all done it. Maybe you’re trying to drop your bestie off at Anshutz or you just want a shortcut to Mass. At least once, you didn’t realize (or maybe forgot) that from the Chi-O fountain to the Union is a “no-no” unless you drive a huge blue bus or you are the most important person on the University of Kansas campus.
You know exactly who will answer this call and your response will be (OR SHOULD BE) “one cream cheese pizza please.”
3. Wednesday nights are your favorite nights.
Regardless if you’re a freshman or a fifth year senior, something about paying $1 for shitty alcohol is super enticing as a mid-week break…. also, Happy Hump Day for those of you who spend it in the Boom-Boom-Room.
4. Sitting in AFH, for hours on end, is totally normal.
Friends from other schools simply cannot understand why you would spend hours sitting on a freezing cold floor for a week before all University of Kansas home basketball games, but then again those friends don’t go to the school with the greatest basketball tradition/history in the nation.
5. You have calves of steel.
Even though you pretend to hate them, the University of Kansas hills are our friends. Without them we would not have incredibly toned calves.
6. Strong Hall stairs = Out of breath
You could be the best athlete at the University of Kansas and these damn stairs would still leave you breathless. Regardless of your size, shape, and stature, no amount of working out could prepare you for climbing to the 3rd floor of Strong Hall.
7. The steam whistle ain’t got nothing on you.
Yeah, okay, maybe at 7:50 am when you’re rushing to Fraser and the whistle blows, you might get a little caught off guard and say some un-nice words under your breath. But mid-day, when the old thing blows, you don’t even blink. You are so used to it by now, when you hear it from your bedroom you know exactly how long you have to nap.
8: Free t-shirts.
Everywhere. Your entire shirt drawer consists of blue (maybe a few red) t-shirts with catchy sayings.
If you don’t know why I included this, you don’t go to the University of Kansas.
10. You’ve gotten lost in Wescoe.
Fun Fact: When Wescoe was built, it was intended to be a University of Kansas parking garage.
Not-Fun Fact: Hardly any of the hallways connect and seldom can you reach certain areas without going outside or down a huge staircase wide enough for two cars (literally).
Oh SafeBus drivers, how will you ever be thanked for cleaning up liquid vomit and stopping anywhere on the side of the street so we can get off? Most likely, you won’t. But please know you are appreciated for always being our safe way home in the early morning hours.
12. You’ve almost been hit by a bus (or considered it).
Admit it, you know it’s been tempting. They fly around the corners at an alarming rate and would a few weeks in the hospital really be all that bad for free tuition? No one really knows if that would be the reimbursement from the University of Kansas for almost losing your life, but I’m sure someone will be the guinea pig one day.
13. You know the crazies on Wescoe Beach.
Being such a liberal school, in the middle of a conservative state, it’s a big draw for groups to come try to preach their ways to us. Whether it is trying to get us to realize that leggings are gifts from the devil or yelling at us because we need Jesus; all of the preachers on Wescoe get tons of attention and are very passionate about their messages.
14. You’ve “Waved the Wheat.”
15. Stoop kids never quit.
If you have ever been on Daisy Hill, you know the exact group I am talking about – the ultimately creative, outgoing and free-spirited Hash kids who sit out on the stoop virtually all day. Even on the coldest nights, they sit out there formulating stories to share while their cigarette smoke swirls into the wind.
16. “Do you guys accept Beak ‘Em Bucks?”
You probably rely on the fact that places all over LFK accept these University of Kansas ‘dollars’. However, when a place doesn’t…its immediate heartbreak and you’re forced to dig into your practically non-existent bank account.
17. You’ve been a victim of the “woo.”
It’s okay, don’t be ashamed. We’ve all done it. We have all accidentally “wooed” during the opening chant and we just couldn’t control it. You know how hard it is to control yourself.
18. Found confetti (aka newspaper shreds from your poorly made cone) in places you never knew existed.
19. You’ve come down with the KU Plague.
The weather changes and flu-season are not causes of the KU Plague. You could be a victim of the plague on any given day. Everyone has been and everyone will be affected by the worst sickness imaginable to any college student. A mixture of flu-like symptoms, a runny nose, constant napping, chapped lips, achiness and nausea followed by shortness of breath due to walking the hills of the University of Kansas campus. Class is still a must because you’ve already used your four excused absences to go to HotBox or finish your Netflix series.