15 Lies All College Students Tell Themselves

1. I’m Going to Get Dressed Up for Class

At the beginning of the semester, you go to class dressed for the Oscars.  It is a new batch of people and you want to dress to impress.  Plus, you have got a totally adorable wardrobe and you want to show it off!  But after a few weeks, it becomes exhausting and you go back to wearing the same three sweatpants.

2. I’m Going to the Gym Every Day

You make a new semester’s resolution to get shredded and hit the gym; it’s time to finally get that six pack.  Too bad everyone else made that same resolution and the gym is insanely crowded for the first two weeks.  Everyone is zealously into their new exercise plans…at first.  Then you notice everyone slowly starts to disappear.  And you realize they have the right idea.  You will not set foot in the gym until it’s time for the New Year’s Resolutions.

3. I’m Going to Eat Healthier

College students’ meal plans tend to be very unhealthy.  You have got an unlimited supply of pizza, french fries and ice cream with no parents around to stop you.  This year will be different, you say.  You plan out all these healthy meals you can prepare…until you realize that takes time and money – and you have neither.

4. I Will Stop Procrastinating

You get your new syllabus, plug all the important dates into your phone’s calendar, and swear that you will start working on that fifteen page term paper today.  Or maybe tomorrow.  Or the next day.  And soon enough, it’s the night before the paper is due and you are pulling an all-nighter in the library.

5. I Will Go to Sleep on Time

Benjamin Franklin once said, “Early to bed and early to rise makes a man healthy, wealthy and wise.”  Sleeping properly gives you so much more time in the day, puts you in a better mood, makes you more alert and is healthier for you.  You say you will go to bed early and then maybe wake up early to go to the gym, but it never happens.  The procrastinating probably ruins this one.  And Netflix.

6. I Will Never Skip Class

You are paying for classes, so you should get your money’s worth and go to every single one.  This way, you will never miss any vital test material.  But, since you went to bed late, some days there is no way you are getting out of bed for that 8:30 am class. Just no way.

7. I Will Go to Office Hours

Office hours give you one on one time with your professors where you can ask questions and allow them get to know you better.  Sometimes, it can even make a major difference in your grade.  You plan to make at least one.  But after a long day of classes, the last thing you want to do is see your professor again.  You would rather curl up in bed.

8. I am Going to Keep My Room Neat

They say a clean room is a clean mind.  You promise yourself, and your roommate, that you will keep your space clean and tidy.  When you move in, you make sure to organize your closet and desk perfectly.  It stays that way…until the laundry starts piling up.

9. I Will Get Straight A’s This Semester

This semester is going to be the one, you say.  You will achieve the impossible: get all A’s in college.  You might start off strong, but quickly get overwhelmed.  By the end you are scrambling to get all of your work in and straight C’s is looking much more attainable.

10. I’m Going to Join a Bunch of Clubs

Clubs are a great way to expand your horizons and build your resume.  You see a bunch of interesting things at the club fair, grab some fliers, and sign up for countless email lists.  You attend some of the first meeting with free pizza and then never go again.

11. I’m Going to Make New Friends

You are surrounded by so many other interesting college students and awesome parties.  You will never be a part of this kind of social scene again and you know that you should take advantage.  But socializing is hard.  So you just continue finding one friend at a party and clinging to them all night.

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12. Just One Drink…

You’ll go out, but you’re not drinking.  Okay, maybe just one drink.  Famous last words.

13. I’m Never Drinking Again

Anytime you wake up with a killer hangover, you make a sweeping declaration that you are never, ever getting drunk again.  Until next weekend.

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14. I Will Stop Netflix Binges

You know that watching an entire season of a show in one sitting is a huge waste of time.  You promise that you will only watch one episode a day.  But then that Breaking Bad episode ends on a huge cliffhanger and you have to find out what happened, right now.

15. I’m Going to Budget My Money

You create a monthly budget for groceries, books, room supplies and leisure.  And then you blow all of your delegated grocery money on posters for your new room. Oops.

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