So, you just got out of a relationship. It’s normal to feel angry, sad, lost, and have the urge to eat two pints of ice cream in one sitting. It’s fine to want to listen to sad music while you look out the window and wonder what went wrong. You’ll wonder what you could have done differently, or when things started to change. But the fact of the matter is… all that wondering won’t change anything. Luckily, there are some things you can do to make things hurt a little less. Here are 10 ways to get over a breakup.
1. Hang out with your friends.
Your friends will be there for you no matter what. You can vent to them, cry, watch comedies, drunkenly sing “Fight Song” together… whatever the case may be, they’ll support you. There’s nothing like a girls’ (or boys’) night to make things feel a little bit normal again. Just remember to make sure your friends keep your phone away from you if there’s a chance you might call your ex hoping to get back together.
2. Create a playlist (that isn’t fully populated with sad music).
One of my go-to songs when I felt terrible after a breakup was “Someday You Will Be Loved” by Death Cab for Cutie. Create a playlist of songs that make you feel better about yourself, not worse.
3. Watch a movie or TV show that cheers you up.
Personally, I love watching comedies like Futurama or overdramatic telenovelas when I’m feeling sad. Whatever makes you feel better, whether it is a guilty pleasure reality show or a plot heavy, character driven drama, it’s totally okay to escape from reality for a little while with a fictional universe.
4. Don’t hold your emotions in.
You don’t have to pretend that things are okay if they aren’t. If you feel like crying, go ahead and cry. If you’re feeling angry, allow yourself to feel anger. Your friends and family will understand. Losing an important person in your life isn’t something that people get over instantly. Feel your emotions and remember that you have a great support system behind you.
5. Make use of campus resources.
Many college campuses have counseling centers. It’s totally fine to check in with a counselor, especially if your breakup took a huge emotional toll on you. It’s nice to be able to vent to a professional in a confidential setting. Talking to friends can be nice, but a counselor’s office can also feel like a completely safe (and unbiased) setting for you to say whatever is on your mind.
6. Go ahead, eat that ice cream!
You know what, it’s okay. You will probably feel a little better after eating some of your favorite comfort foods, especially if combined with your favorite TV show or movie! But also remember to exercise (which leads me to my next point).
7. Get some exercise.
Exercise can be really cathartic. Throwing yourself into physical activity is a healthy hobby to pick up. You’ll feel great afterwards, and the post-workout rush of endorphins will definitely help lift your mood.
8. Delete any old messages with your ex (and their contact number, if you have to).
Even if you and your ex plan to stay friends after your breakup, messages from when you were together can be a constant and painful reminder of what you used to have. It will be hard, but my advice is to get rid of them. If you still have residual feelings for you ex, keeping their contact on your phone might be risky. You might feel the overwhelming urge to send them a long apology text or to call them when you’re bored (or drunk). Don’t do it. Remove their number, because even if you’ve memorized it, not having their contact number gives you extra time to decide whether you really want to contact them.
9. Pick up a new hobby.
Finding a new hobby can help you channel negative emotions in a healthy and productive way. It could be anything – knitting, gardening, archery, learning a new language etc… the possibilities are endless. Learning how to do something new gives you something to look forward to every day, and when you gradually improve, you’ll be satisfied with the progress you’ve made!
10. Volunteer and do some community service.
There’s really nothing like the joy of helping others. Doing volunteer work can help you combat negative emotions stemming from your relationship. Find a cause you’re passionate about, or even some school functions in need of volunteers, and see if you can help.