College is hard enough, college dating shouldn’t have to be stressful too. Here’s how to make college dating easier while also balancing and maintaining a busy schedule!
1. Be honest.
Don’t tell someone you want to “hook-up” when you really want a relationship. Not only will you get your feelings hurt but this can cause some serious damage to your reputation around campus. You’ll look crazy desperate and other people will be weary of getting involved with you. I’ve known many girls (and guys) to say they’re just looking for fun. These people say that they’re just looking for fun when in reality they want something serious. Whether you’re looking for love or a quick fling, make sure to be honest. Your partner may not like the answer but you did what you needed. You need to put yourself fist.
2. Give each other space.
Between classes, clubs, meetings, homework, and projects, you’ll have only a little down time between the two of you. Alone time is sometimes hard to come by in college. Give each other the space to just relax and wind down from the day. Whether you or your partner need an hour or more to yourselves, ultimately, giving each other that space will be rewarding for the both of you. You guys can go to the cafeteria together or out together on the weekends but if they (or you!) say or hint that you need space just explain that you want to hang out in your room alone.
I cannot tell you the number of times I’ve had arguments with my boyfriend because of lack of communication or miscommunication. Make sure you are clear in telling your partner your needs, feelings, likes, and dislikes. Communication can truly make or break a relationship (friendships included). As long as you both communicate effectively and in a non-argumentative way you two should be on the same page.
4. Don’t play the blame game.
It’s easy to say, “you never do this” or “you always do that” or “you never say this.” Instead try to voice how you feel about your partner’s actions calmly and effectively. Try saying, “Sometimes I feel like you don’t put me first and it hurts my feelings.” It’s easy to point fingers but sometimes the blame lies on both people and as mentioned in number 3 it can just simply be miscommunication.
5. Respect each other’s schedules.
College is difficult and you can get super busy. There are a lot of ups and downs. If your partner has long days, don’t berate them about not spending enough time together. It’s easy to get lost in the excitement of having someone to call your own, but sometimes college dating takes a little trial and error to figure out how to most effectively coordinate schedules so that the two of you to spend enough time together.
6. Be mindful of your partner’s friends.
Sometimes your partner will just want to hang out with their friends. It’s not because they want to leave you out or that they’re doing anything suspect, they just want some time with their people. This can be especially true if you do not share the same circle of friends. The friends may not take to you as quickly as you’d hope and this can be a long, frustrating process—especially if they’ve all been friends for a long time. Just be patient and you‘ll be included more and more over time. You are not going to always get along with—or like—their friends. Sometimes not hanging out with your partner’s friends can be for your own good. You don’t have to be the significant other that is liked by everyone. Just be yourself.
7. Respect you partner’s views.
This is very straightforward. Just because a person has different views than you on certain topics doesn’t make them a mean or ignorant person. You are going to have to deal with opposing views a lot in college. If you’re in a relationship, you may have to compromise with your partner. That being said, don’t change your views and beliefs just to extend the life of your relationship. Stay true to who you are and don’t compromise yourself to fit into anyone else’s mold.
8. No talking about your ex.
Don’t compare your current partner to your ex, ever. Don’t bring up stories about your ex-boyfriend or talk about past relationships unless your partner is comfortable with it. Don’t tell your partner that they remind you of your ex or compare them to each other.
Your grades are the most important aspect of college. Keep your priorities straight. College dating is not what you should be most concerned about. Finish your homework before you hang out with your boo thang. Your partner should understand. If they don’t, then you need to have a talk with them about why you’re at college in the first place. Don’t let someone else deter you or bring you down. You’re aiming for greatness—nobody should come in between you and your goals. Not even your partner. If they don’t understand that then you should seriously consider ending the relationship.
10. Take advantage of school trips & events.
This gives you two some entertainment and a change of scenery for little to no money. Take full advantage of these trips! The first few times I went to NYC I went with my school for free! All I had to worry about was paying for food and shopping. This is a great way to get away to enjoy some quality entertainment and bonding time.
Any other tips on how to navigate college dating? Share in the comments!
Featured image source: weheartit.com
Nanette is a student at Le Moyne college studying criminology. Avid dreamer and elephant enthusiast. She enjoys hanging out with her pets and helping college students near and far