I have googled “How to understand the male brain” hundreds of times throughout my life, and nothing has made it clearer for me. Over the years though, I’ve been lucky to start to figure them out bit by bit. That’s why I curated a list of 10 things that will help you understand the male brain so that us girls feel less confused when we speak to men.
1. They’re Simple
Something I think us girls fail to realize sometimes is that guys are usually pretty simple minded. I can’t speak for all men but most aren’t all about flashy lights and huge romantic gestures. They don’t typically read into things as deeply as we do either. So take a deep breath and remember, he’s not still thinking about the one weird thing you said two months ago. You know those movies that make it seem like all guys think about are sports, beer, and sex? Well, I think for the most part this is dead on.
2. They Take Things At Face Value
In some scenarios this statement may not be true but for the most part, guys take things at face value. If you say you’re okay, they’ll think you’re okay. They assume women speak to them the way other guys would, which is saying exactly what they mean. Unfortunately, this creates a communication struggle between men and women.
3. They’re Stubborn
Men are goal oriented. They like to achieve things and be successful. Plus, if they grew up playing sports, they know how to make someone sweat. Sometimes, as ridiculous as it sounds, they will hold out from doing something they really want to just to hold on to their pride. So take a step back and let them think they’re being stubborn and holding all the power. I can guarantee they’ll step towards you again after a bit.
4. They Always Want What They Can’t Have
This is a rule for men and women alike, everyone want’s what they can’t have. It’s the chase, it’s addicting. If you throw yourself all over a man and do not make him work for you, he will never want you. Men are hunters and need to feel like their primal instincts are being used to help him survive. Don’t be available to him all the time, let him work to be fit into your schedule, let him show you why he needs to be a priority. The harder you make him work, the crazier he’ll be about you.
5. They’re Great At Compartmentalizing
The BEST thing my mom ever told me about men is that they’re better at compartmentalizing things than women are. By that, she means, they can separate all their thoughts and feelings when they want to. So, while I would be thinking about our last date for three weeks straight, he may think about it once in a while but then be more focused on guys’ night tomorrow. Have you ever said to someone “I wish I could get him out of my head.”? Well, not to suggest no man has ever said that but guys for sure say it less than girls because they can get us out of their heads.
6. The Boys Will Come First
If the guy you’re interested in is a “for the boys” boy, good luck getting him to make time for you. You’ll have to get used to sharing him more than most girls are used to but, with that being said, if he really likes you, he will make an effort to either mesh you in with the guys or balance his time between both of you. Although you should be understanding of the fact that he will want to spend time with the boys, make sure you respect yourself enough to know when you’re on the back burner. I love my best girl friends but if I was with a man I was crazy about, you bet your little booty I’d be sharing my time.
7. If They Wanted To They Would
I wish I could write this whole paragraph in capital letters. IF THEY WANTED TO, THEY WOULD. When you’re waiting for that snapchat or text and thinking they’ve just been busy all week, remember that if they wanted to, they would. Yes, people get busy and yes, people forget about plans but if you were a priority to someone, they would make time. How long does it take to send a text message? 45 seconds? Anyone can spare 45 seconds of their day to check in with people they care about. So, drop the excuses for him and know you deserve better because if he wanted to, he’d be with you.
8. They’re Pretty Literal
If I had a dollar for everytime I said some dramatic statement to a man about god knows what only for him to take it literally and think I am a crazy drama queen, I’d have a million dollars. If you tell a man you want to go out more, he will take that as you want to go out every night whereas you most likely mean once a month or so. You have to be clear in exactly what you want for men or you run the risk of misunderstanding.
9. They Probably Aren’t Getting Your Hint
Men aren’t dumb. Yes, most of the time they can pick up if you’re flirting with them but that’s about as far as your hints will go with them. As soon as you start to hint at the idea of dating, or breaking up, they’ll miss the cues until you say it right out. So be honest, and save yourself and him the time of beating around the bush. It won’t get you anywhere.
10. If They Like You, You’ll Know
Just remember, if they want to be with you, you’ll know it. It’s hard to take that for what it is, and it can be really easy to convince yourself that they’re playing a game or scared of their feelings for you, but men go after what they want and his fear of getting hurt wont stop him if he cares enough. So wait for the man who’s crazy about you.
Understanding the male brain can be nearly impossible, because all of them are wired differently. The only important tip to the male brain is that they go after what they want, so if that’s not you, move on to someone who can’t get you out of their brain. Comment Down below if you have other tips to understanding the male brain, I could use the extra help too.
Jenna Summer is twenty-something spending her days exploring New York City and chasing her dreams. As a recent graduate from The American Musical & Dramatic Academy, Jenna has been spending her time in the city itching to perform. She has performed Stand Up Comedy at many comedy clubs around the city as well as performing in sketch shows and cabarets with Upright Citizens Brigade and Others. During her time in school, she also fell in love with writing. Her goal is to be able to use her voice to inspire, entertain, and make people laugh.